I like to think it a success when the cops are called
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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