You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
