GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
