I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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