Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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