Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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