Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
she pinky promised me she was 18
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
