butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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