god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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