that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
