Don't you send me to vm
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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