Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Randomize