if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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