my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
