There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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