I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
