My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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