The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
