You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
