More tranny stories later!
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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