I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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