Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
