Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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