he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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