i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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