We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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