My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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