good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
