just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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