I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
