Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
