How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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