I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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