did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
