even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
