he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Never underestimate the power of titties
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize