i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
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