Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
