you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
