I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
