$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize