let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
