Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
