Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
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