I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
