I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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