So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
