Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
