I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
