so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
