You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
