I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize
