Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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