SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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