she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
