Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
