Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
