I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
