dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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