Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize