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• (703): View more from Virginia

  so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"

  (1-703): View more from Virginia

  where do you find these guys?

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  eww mummy girl is here...

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.

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• (951): View more from California

  We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.

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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.

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• (760): View more from California

  Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  i need some food

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.

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• (213): View more from California

  I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.

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• (254): View more from Texas

  So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.

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