If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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