So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
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