So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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