Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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