he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
