I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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