Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
