If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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