So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize