I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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